The Everyday Fabulous Woman: Hello, I have a name other than Mom

Have you guys seen this new programming on Nickelodeon called “Nick Moms”? I watched it over the weekend. At first I thought what a great idea! Shows about moms for moms-how cool is that? It turns out, for me, that it wasn’t so cool (too be fair, I do really enjoy the “What Would Carol Brady Say” show where it’s like pop up video over The Brady Bunch). The first show was ok, funny even. There is a standup comedy show. It was funny but the jokes were only about children and parenting. Not even a fart joke that wasn’t relevant to kids. I enjoyed the second show a little less and by the time I got to the third show, I just didn’t care. Here’s the thing: I am sick of being “mom.”

Don’t get me wrong. I adore my children. If you’ve spent even 5 minutes around me you know my kids names, their birth stories, a billion pictures, and everything you would need to know to write their biographies. I’m lovingly obsessed with my kids. I have a job, I have a life, but my entire world revolves around my kids. So at 9pm, when they’re both in bed asleep and I’m not responsible for anybody or anything (other than myself and the glass of wine I’m drinking) the last thing I want to watch is more moms talking about how hard it is to be a mom (I really want to watch a show about a motorcycle gang). And yet, this is the programming that is geared towards me, “Mom,” because I have kids so it must be what I want to watch. Do you know what I received in the mail yesterday? Two kid’s toy catalogs, a coupon for diapers, and a Parent’s magazine. I used to get lingerie catalogs. I used to get junk mail from Cosmo, now I just get junk from Parents magazine. My Facebook page is filled with ads for moms. When did becoming a mom mean that I stopped being a woman?

I know this is a dumb thing to complain about, definitely a 1st world problem. I adore being a mom, but I also miss my old identity. Oh, but that’s the answer, isn’t it? It’s not my old identity; it’s still my current identity. I’m still a 20 something (ok, for the next 3 weeks), vibrant, vivacious woman. I have a career that I love, and yet I get mail from online colleges asking me if going back to school will help me advance from the stay at home mom phase. One of my favorite things to do is shop for shoes, purses… ok, anything, but the only ads I get are for children’s clothes and toys. I get it, being a mom is part of my identity and I love that. But it’s not my entire identity.

Hello, my name is Cindy, and I am a singer (All together now: “Hi Cindy”). I own my own business as a private voice instructor to hundreds of students all over the world. As the wife of a musician, mother of two adorable children, and motivator/inspirer/teacher of singers, I am always pursuing the goal of becoming SuperWoman. If I’m not singing or cleaning up after the many loves of my life, you can find me hiding in my shoe closet with a bottle of red wine and a box of chocolates.

She Who Dreams of SuperHeroes: The news, sister hugs and Norah Jones

We have been told by the wisest – we learn everyday.

We may be told, but we forget. It’s amazing how much we learn everyday. But how many times do you have a moment to process everything that you may or may not have realized that you have learned. Hidden lessons are knocking on your window panes, screaming at you – and you unintentionally ignore all pleas to be heard. I figure that’s because that glorious thing called time escapes us.

We just don’t reserve time in the day to process anything. How are we to learn if we don’t have time to reflect and discern? Well, I had some vacation time and a lot happened there. Then, while making my way back to Washington, I had a four and a half hour lay over at the Las Vegas, I just sat. After being up super early in the morning to catch my first flight out of Chicago, I needed/wanted the time to pass quickly, so I could be home. I tried to read, listen to music, unsuccessfully check work email on my phone and God knows what else – I looked at the clock and only 17 minutes had gone by. About 4 more hours to go. I needed my brain to take a minute. So I got myself a pumpkin spice latte, found a quiet corner in the airport, and just stared out the window. In that time, I learned about how much I learned. And here are some of my lessons from my first-ever vacation after getting my big girl job.

1) Vacations are important. The break is important. When you deal with people all the time as a part of the job, you will burn out at such a fast pace, you won’t even realize what got you! Good measures to avoid complete burn out involves taking care of yourself. So you work out and try and eat well and have you time. But time away – physically removing yourself from the place you live your routine in – is SO important. Just pack a bag and go away for a little while. Even if it’s to a place that you have been several times before. It makes SO much of a difference because you come back ready to take on and fight the world.

2) Wisdom from the ones you love. I think you take those that you love for granted. Without even knowing – you take them for granted and then you are living so far away from them your heart breaks. I also think you forget that you can and will learn from those that are the closest to you. In this case – it was my sister. I take for granted her hugs and kisses. I’m not the hugs and kisses type and the Lord knows that she is. And I don’t let her hug me when I’m with her and then I miss it when she’s not around. I also forget that when two sisters are as close as we are, we learn from each other. It’s the simplest lessons too! We had tickets to see Norah Jones live in concert. I LOVE her. She has one of the most beautiful voices that God could have blessed anybody with. When we settled into our seats (we were up in the balcony), I sighed and said to my sister, “when are we going to be able to afford those seats” pointing at the ones closest to the stage. My sister turned to me and said, “Well.. in time. A while ago, a night like tonight (dinner at a gourmet restaurant and watching an artist that we love live in an amazing city) – wouldn’t have even been a possibility. Besides – haven’t you always wanted to come into the Chicago Theater? And here we are! Just about to watch Norah Jones!” In short – be content. And be thankful for what you have. And remember everything you have been through to get where you are. It’s all an achievement. Even-the-small-things. 

3) Give things a chance. I wrote about perception a few weeks ago. And just to piggy back off of that – don’t rule ANYTHING out. You never know what is going to bring joy into your life. Here’s a(nother) little story. I love sports. I am a competitive person and I love the thought of team sports and watching your team win. When I moved to the states however, the only “American” sport I understood or watched was basketball and I thought I liked it the most. The sport I liked the least? – American Football. What on earth is that sport? It stops every 7 seconds and seems to go on forever and in short – rugby in fancy dress. I thought that way until last year’s football season. Where I was introduced to it properly and it was all explained to me. Then, I was sold a team. And now I wait for football season all year. Now that it’s here, I have a reason to smile on either Sunday mornings or Monday/ Thursday nights! I love my team (GO BEARS!) and I love watching them win (tathasthu!). Wearing my Bears gear and watching the sport brings me actual joy. And to think – I didn’t give it a chance for like 9 years. That’s just plain sad! 

4) Good music can change your day. I really believe that a good song can turn your mood around. And when that song is being sung to you, live, with all the passion that a person can hold – that changes more than just your night. I also didn’t realize that no matter how many other amazing songs Norah Jones will ever make – “Don’t know why” will always be one of my favorites! 

5) Malala Yousafzai. Everybody knows about this amazing young fourteen-year-old girl who is fighting for her life as I type this. She was willing to write a journal/ blog about her wanting to fight for her right to an education. A few extremists decided this thinking was “Western” and didn’t suit their ideals and so to punish her, they shot her in the head. As I type this, I’m praying that she is going to be OK. Because we need girls and women like her in our world – those that are willing to stand up and fight for everything they believe in. She wrote a blog. That was her “offence”. 

Every day of the week, you will find a woman sharing her thoughts with you on this blog. I obviously share mine on Thursdays. *confession alert* I have my blog post done Wednesday night. I have the weekend where I could do it but I put it off. And then, when the time comes to write – I harp on anybody who will listen that I don’t know what to write about. There is so much I want to say and I think that there are days  I censor and rethink everything. And she wrote a blog because she had such undying passion and she was shot in the head for it? What else am I taking for granted everyday without knowing it? 

Simple lessons. God knows how long they have been floating around in my head. I just needed the nudge (and a story to go with that) to realize that I needed the moments of reflection. And it came to me in this small but awesome weekend.

So do me a favor, Stop! Stop whatever it is you are doing. Take fifteen minutes. And tell me, what did you learn today?

Hello! I’m Namrata. I am a Student Affairs Professional who has just started her “big girl” career at Green River Community College. I believe in God, family, good friends, cupcakes, John Mayer, a good song – like a really good song, Neal Gaiman’s talking voice, jokes that really make you laugh and shoe therapy.  I believe that a hot cup of tea can solve more or less anything and that Spider-man really does exist – we just haven’t seen him yet. I also believe that if you want to love someone or something, you love them or it madly (go big or go home). And thanks to believing in loving madly, I have often been referred to as obsessive – I however, like to think of myself as passionate. I just moved to Auburn, Washington and everyday I am in awe of the fact that I live in a town where I have the chance to look at gorgeous mountains when the clouds are cooperating. I think telling a good story is the most important thing in this world and I hope I can tell a good story. And I also hope you are going to like them.